one pound…

May 30, 2009

why does it feel  like some people somehow seem to ‘dismiss(?)’  luke ?  is it because of his weight??  is it because he was born at 30 weeks??  I can’t figure this out. 

I gave birth to a viable child.  he was taken from my body by cesarean.  he was alive for 80 minutes.  he was warm.  he was pink.

my girlfriend has 3 healthy boys that run around the yard and sing and dance and watch cartoons and eat snacks and cry and whine and everything else that healthy children do, and they were all  born around the 30 week marker (some earlier, some later).  they were all  small babies.  obviously this is a ‘doable’ gestational age.

I have no way to tell you how and when I feel this pain without possibly hurting others.  therefore … I say nothing.  I know no one is intentionally trying to hurt me and yet, it still hurts.  I need to just pray for peace, understanding, compassion … for all of us.

luke, and his 1 pound, is just as much my child as gabrielle, and her 39 pounds, or dawson, and his 82 pounds or cole, and his 55 pounds.



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