July 16, 2009



so, after all of my ranting and raving… He was still there.  let me tell you how He let me know. 

this week 2 different women that I don’t talk to on any kind of regular basis… one of them I haven’t talked to in person for over a year and the other one has never actually called my house… called me to talk about something and then asked me, ‘how are you doing?’  before they got off the phone.  coincidence??  I choose to believe otherwise.  like I said, these are not friends that I talk to regularly and few.. very few people ask me, ‘how are you doing?’.  I choose to believe that maybe these women were prompted to call me.

then, last night at bible study, while we were watching the video portion of our lesson, the speaker went over Psalm 13.. the one I just used as my vent to my heavenly Father.. and she talked about how God wants us to come to Him with all of our emotions.  He knows them anyway.  now, I didn’t know she was going to use that psalm.  I didn’t even know what her discussion was going to include.  how amazing that what she spoke of was exactly where I was..  what I was thinking.. what I was feeling.. what I needed to hear.  coincidence??  again, I choose to believe otherwise.

I feel better,  I don’t feel so hurt.  I know He is there for me, no matter what I am feeling.  I know He loves me, that He understand my feelings of hurt and betrayal and confusion.  I stand amazed at the wonder of Him..  that he puts up with the constant whining, complaining, tantrums and tears.. the singing, dancing, praising and joy.. the entire roller-coaster of emotions.  He is like the father of an overtired child that doesn’t want to leave the fair, so the child whines and cries awhile, maybe even just throws a fit, and then after being carried through the dark and quiet on the way home, the child gives in and melts into the big, strong arms of her daddy…. she puts her arms around his neck, does one of those shudder sighs that comes after a good bit of crying and says, ‘I love you.’  the father, of course, just smiles softly and says, ‘I love you more.’ as he pushes the matted curls from her wet cheeks and kisses her forehead.


One Response to “amazed…”

  1. jennifer said

    as always, jen. beautiful.

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