bite, scratch and scream…

October 5, 2009

back to reality.

after a nice weekend to myself, where I mainly think of myself, monday comes in not so nice.  I feel like I have extra patience because of my time away.  I wake up not feeling pre-weighed-down.  and then I go to wake up cole.

usually this is one of my favorite times with him.  he’s all warm and cuddly and just like every other kid in the world.  no sense of nonworking limbs or the inability to talk when you are laying in bed, under the covers.  he usually smiles and curls up with me really tight and says, ‘so hungry’.  it’s wonderful.

 … not today.

today he is mad from the get go.  growling and whining.  throwing ‘paws’. (his little blue thermal stuffed kitty)  he doesn’t want to get up and he doesn’t want to stay laying down.  he doesn’t want to eat or to go to the bathroom.  he’s just crabby.  I try to give him some time to change his attitude.  it doesn’t work.  so I take him to the bathroom anyway.  as I am hoisting his 4 foot long, 60 pound body over my shoulder to carry him to the bathroom, he sinks his front teeth into the back of my shoulder.  not like a true bite, just his top teeth.  he’s really good at it and it hurts just as much.  I told him to stop and kind of shook my shoulder to move his head, still maintaining my patience.  then we sat on the potty where he shook his head ‘no’ at me and made his ‘butt face’ at me. (this would be his mad face.  he wrinkles up his eyes and purses his lips together really tight.)  I gently remind him he has to go in the morning like everyone else does.  I have him lean his head on my shoulder to help him relax.  he sinks his teeth in again.  I shake him loose again.  finally he pees a little.  a little.   I know there is more, but he isn’t going.

biting[1]

fine.

I wrangle him out onto the couch to eat.  he doesn’t want to eat.  fine.  I tell  him to let me know when he changes his attitude.  of course 2 seconds later he calls for me but hasn’t really changed anything.  I let him wait and he calls again.  this time he seems in a better mood.  he wants to read the franklin book he checked out at school, about the hospital. 

everything seems better now.  he eats.  he wants to take his book to school and he is focused on that.  I let him sit there to watch blue’s clues and look at his franklin book while I help punkin get ready. 

now it is about 8:30 and he needs to get his shoes on and hop into his wheelchair.  I go to pick him up off the couch, which he is kind of sliding off of.  his legs are hanging over the edge so that only his butt is still on the couch.  I notice an unusual dark spot. … sigh …  he peed.  a lot.  ahhhhhh.  the bus will be here in 5 minutes.  he’s mad at me now because he has to get new clothes on… and quickly.  so I try to change him as quickly and nicely as I can.  meanwhile he is scratching and screaming at me.  flailing.  jerking his stiff arms and legs all over the place.  I’m about ready to shake him!

finally dressed.  shoes on.  into the chair we go.  of course, as I pick him up to get in he is sinking his teeth into me again.  he won’t bend to sit.  he’s making the butt face.  I seriously consider just letting go of him.  just letting him fall where he may. … I don’t.  I get him to bend at the waist enough to get his seatbelt on and try to do his other chest harness.  he’s pawing at me the whole time.  now I have to give him his medicine before he leaves and he bites the syringe so hard it almost breaks.  seriously.  this kid can drive me crazy!

the bus pulls up.  I drive him out, make a ‘choking someone’ sign to the bus driver and hand him off.  I won’t miss him.  I’m glad someone else will be helping him today.  of course, he won’t be mean to them at all.  oh no.  he is ALWAYS nice to everyone else.  that drives me nuts too.  I’d like someone else to see how mean he is sometimes… besides brian. 

hopefully it’s over.  he’ll come home happy, like noting even happened.  and maybe tomorrow when we get up and do it all over again, he’ll be ‘nice cole’.  maybe.

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5 Responses to “bite, scratch and scream…”

  1. Ugh, and I thought my kiddo could make be tough and stubborn! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who gets to the end of my rope sometimes. How do we get up and do this every day? I guess we don’t really have a choice, but some days are great and some days you just want to run away, huh? I’m glad that you’re honest enough to share the reality of your life with the rest of us who are out here wondering if anyone ever feels like we do. THanks Jenifer!

  2. debbue said

    Motherhood is a thankless job!!! But, oh, so worth it….most of the time. 🙂

  3. Dawn said

    I think Henry would have bit me in the shoulder today if he could have gotten by with it…

  4. Megan said

    Hopefully today is a better day for you. I really know what you mean when you say Cole is always nice to everyone but you. My kids treat me the same way and it drives me crazy. Thanks for your honesty on the ups and downs of daily life.

    So you had a great weekend? Are you going to write more about that for us??? 🙂

  5. jennifer said

    mom used to take me to a farm north of sioux city to go horseback riding on wednesday nights. it was an adaptive riding school for special needs kids. i hated the special needs part, but loved getting ride a horse once a week more. there were kids with a wide range of abilities, and one boy always comes to mind when you write about cole. esp now.

    i remember times when his mom looked beyond-frazzled because he would be so.entirely.impossible. and then be just as sweet as pie on the horse. i remember sensing in her that indecision to break down in laughter or tears that he would be so hard with her and then so easy with everyone else.

    as a kid i just found it kind of entertaining. how much of a punk he could get away with being to his mom even though he was so confined inside his uncooperative body.

    as a mother and my heart goes out to you. i in no way can imagine the depth of patience you have from moment to moment. patience, humor and generosity. i’ve been reading a few posts to catch up and would say it is in that presence of depth alone that you prove your belief in jesus, daily. we can’t dig that deep all by our lonesome. even the sacred motherly love has its limits, and you go above and beyond powered by your faith.

    i do hope the past fews days have been a little easier. or at least dry…

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