here it comes…

December 1, 2009

it’s getting harder and harder to put on my happy face.  so many things coming at me and reminding me of him. 

the stockings hanging by the fire, or lack there of

the ornaments with everyone’s names

the december calendar that the kids put up and went on and on about luke’s bday

gabrielle clapping the syllables for everyone’s name, including luke

the family picture that I can’t get, that doesn’t have everyone in the family in it anyway

this song

that song

this prayer

that prayer

all about him.  all the time.  it is mounting, I can feel it.  who will be the unsuspecting one, that asks how I’m doing and I actually tell the truth to and just bawl?  who will it be?

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One Response to “here it comes…”

  1. Megan said

    One thing that made me think of you recently… I don’t know if I’d told you, but my grandpa passed away earlier this year. Recently, one of Grandma’s friends made her a bunch of ornaments. They are tiny wrapped packages, with a picture of Grandpa on one side and a little poem on the other side. The poem reads, “I love you all dearly, now don’t shed a tear. I’m spending Christmas with Jesus this year.” Grandma liked them so much that she had her friend make enough for each of us, which was very thoughtful. It’s a way to keep Grandpa with us during the holidays. I didn’t know if something like that would be helpful to your family or too emotional.

    I know this month will be hard for you, but we’re praying for you! You have a great support system. And it’s OK to let your feelings all out. Really.

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