it still sucks…

April 5, 2010

it still sucks,         I’ll tell you why.

I always wince when babies cry.

to say it doesn’t,         cut as deep,

would be an outright, bold faced lie.

I also seem,         to always stand,

behind the pregnant lady.

I want to scream,         “you just don’t know!”

“I’ve held  that unborn baby!”

I sit in church,         and big fat tears,

fall steady from my eyes.

The pastor’s speaking,          but in my head

I’m only asking, “WHY?!”

just last night,         on the news,

I saw more than just 1 piece

of parents doing,         hideous things,

their own  child means the least.

yet here we sit,         on our couch,

with empty, aching arms.

we actually want,          a child to love,

and keep safe from all harms.

so here I am,         at the end,

of another damn hard day.

my head is splitting.         I am so tired.

I’d like to run away.

help me Lord!         I’m broken here!

don’t You understand?

I need Your help,         I can’t go on,

I’m sinking in the sand…


2 Responses to “it still sucks…”

  1. Dawn Synstelien said

    No answers for you…just a heart full of knowing a mother’s love…grace and peace to you today…

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