my ding-a-ling…

January 23, 2010

okay, there’s no easy way to say this.  this post is all about a penis, or more lovingly referred to as a ding at our house.  if you don’t want to know… stop reading and check back later.

a couple of days ago I was helping cole have a snack and watch mickey mouse.  he was sitting in the corner of the couch like he usually does, except he kept fidgeting and straightening out.  it is hard enough to keep him sitting up and give him a snack when he’s not wiggling, so I was getting tired of trying to adjust him.  he looked a little odd, like something was not right.  I asked if he was okay and he shook his head no just ever so slightly.  I asked if something hurt and he mouthed yeah, but no real words came out.  then he put his paw (hand) on his ding.  i asked if his ding hurt and he said yeah.  so I felt to see if there was something in his pants…  I couldn’t feel anything… not even his ding.  somehow, his little ding had gotten pushed back as if in a gender bender!  poor guy!  I helped him ‘adjust’ and then things were fine.  whew~

this got me thinking about all the little things he can’t do or say or fix for himself…  like an eyelash sitting across the lens of your eye… a mosquito sucking the blood out of your arm, ear or check… a simple itch… a hard booger… or, your penis stuck in a very uncomfortable position!  all  of these things have actually happened to cole and I’m sure others that I’m not aware of.

so, the moral to this post… be thankful you can scratch your own itches!  be thankful you don’t have to adjust your 12-year-old son’s ding!  : )

and just for fun



October 29, 2009

tonight when I was rinsing out gabrielle’s hair in the tub, you know how they lay down in the tub and then you pour water over their heads, I dunked her a little too much.  she came up quickly and exclaimed, ‘whoa!  did I just get baptized?!?!’


I just about fell over laughing. … ahh the simple pleasures a small child can bring.  and so amazing how laughter heals.

my God, my mechanic…

October 6, 2009


these may sound like small things.  things of no particular consequence.  I am going to view them as little blessings in my day-to-day life.  little flakes of sweet manna that help me carry on.

first, let me tell you that I’ve been to the shop alot lately with our van.  keep in mind this is no ordinary van.  it has been outfitted to have a wheelchair drive in and out of it on a daily basis.  this makes getting around soo much easier, but adds to the list of things that can go wrong.

last week, I was reporting to brian that the van was still making that wierd sound.  a sound I knew to be coming from a wheel because it was rhythmical and disappeared the faster I went.  I also told him that when I would accelerate from a stop, all the gauges would freak out and I almost stalled.  oh, and the tires are still out of balance, even tough we just had them balanced 4 weeks ago.  ( I’m sure he loves  getting this call every morning about 9:10 while he is working)  : ) 

‘sounds like new brake pads and either a battery or an alternator problem’, he tells me.  ‘I’ll make some calls.’   of course he calls me right back and tells me to go to the parts store and have them hook it up so they can tell me what to get.  so my left hand turn turns into a very illegal 3 lane change and a right turn.

the worker guy, tim I believe, lifts up the hood to hook up the checker-thingy and says that the problem is probably just the loose connection he sees on the battery.  sure enough.  it is.  YEAH!  that was free, easy and tim didn’t treat me like a girl.  1 problem solved.  thank you God for little blessings.

now I go to goodyear so they can rebalance my tires.  the goodyear guy, I think his name is nick, tells me that their balance machine had been off so they’ll just balance them all now.  YEAH!  that was free, easy and nick didn’t treat me like a girl either.  thank you God for bits of manna.

lastly, I head to rollex, because when brian had the tires off to replace the brake pads the other day, to stop the afore mentioned rhythmical sound,  he noticed the brake line was rubbing.   becky, who never treats me like a girl, has someone look at the brake lines and discovers that they are rubbing and the van isn’t safe to drive.  she tells me to leave the van, she’ll get me a loaner and that they will cover it because it is a modification issue.  YEAH!  that was free, easy, becky is always nice to me AND I don’t have to worry about having my brakes go out when I’m off to pick up the kids later.  thank you God for keeping me safe, when I didn’t even know I was in danger. 

plus, the guy at good year said the noise was from the emergency brake and it was just because it was rusty from not being used.  he just wiggled it around a little and now, no more noise.  brian returned the brake pads.  and all is well.

if I hadn’t been complaining about the noise, brian wouldn’t have tried to replace the brake pads and he wouldn’t have noticed that the line was rubbing.  now, everything is fixed or being fixed and I don’t have to pay for any of it.  YEAH!

today I am thankful for all of these little things.  my God, my mechanic.

you know the question.  have you ever really kept track?  you’d need a notebook really, but here’s my best try just off of memory.

5 am… try to find brian’s alarm clock, because he is to delirious to shut it off.  ( a pet peeve of mine)

6 am… uncover and push brian out of bed

8am… wake up and wonder what the heck time it is.  it looks light out, but I’m still so tired.  (apparently from the new muscle relaxer the doctor prescribed for my tension headaches)

8:10am… answer phone thinking ‘who would call me so early’.  my good friend who gets up at 5, that’s who.  talk for a few minutes about upcoming family camp.

8:20am… go to get cole out of bed.  get him untwisted and back into a comfortable position.  he wants to know, ‘who’s that?’.  meaning, who was on the phone.  I tell him.  he goes on to say he loves her, he wants to kiss her and when can we go to her house.  I tell him later.  he isn’t dropping it.  knowing this will last until we call her, I call back so cole can say hi.  she talks to him for a minute and then we talk about little difficulties with children for a minute and then we gotta go.

8:30am… I lay with cole for awhile talking about when we will go play and what we are going to do today.  i pull him over to the side to help him stretch.

8:45am… carry cole out to his ‘thinking chair’.  turn on elmo.

8:50am… get dressed in my exercise clothes.  (this is my new plan for getting my exercise in.  I wear the clothes until I get it done, which is hopefully before I have to leave the house.)

8:55am… get the kids some cereal.  (we have those little boxes that come in a group pack.  I think the first time I ever bought them.)  surprisingly, no arguments.  we’ll see about tomorrow.

9:00am… start feeding cole.  say hi to our helper, talk about what we have to get done today.

9:15am… try to figure out if cole has enough medications for the next week or if I need to get refills today.

9:30am… call my love.  (I always call in the morning)  he’s busy.  we’ll talk later.

okay, let’s forget the timeline or this will take forever.

straighten my bed and punkin’s.  put a load in the dryer.  unload and reload the dishwasher.  carry misc. items to their respective belongers rooms.  walk around eating my yogurt and granola, check email, tell everyone to round up their library books, try to get a timeline of our afternoon together in my head.

load up for the library, get some new books, wonder if dawson actually read for 7 hours this week to get his reading prize, forget the movie we checked out, (I’ll return that later), go home and get lunch packed for cole and cooking for dawson and punkin.  read to punkin, feed everyone, eat some heated up rice while standing in the kitchen, run through mental checklist of what we need before we head out the door again… swimsuit, lunch for cole, camera, that library movie.

load up again, drop off helper, drop off cole at therapy, pick up friend, drop off friend, get to last day of swimming lessons for gabrielle, watch and clap for her as she jumps in and swims back to the side.  YEAH, punkin passes guppies!! back to the house for a bit, eat a cookie, get the kids a snack, check facebook, gather up stuff to go swimming with friends after our next outing.  ohh, throw the ham in the crockpot!june '09 052

load up again, (this about 2:30 now) go to eye appointment and have glasses remade for the third and hopefully last time, exchange curtains (I got the wrong length the first time), back to the house to get the life jackets we forgot, pick up cole, go to friends to go swimming.

whew~  now, let me tell you that most of this day is going smoothly.  while we are busy, I am aware that luke is not with me, but I am doing okay.  I’m having a good day. 

now it is about 4:15.  we get to the pool and I hear a baby cry as we get out of the van … my heart sinks … sure enough, there is a baby.  it is the grandson of this friend who happens to have been born close to luke’s due date.  I just can’t look at him.  I want to get back in the van and go home.  we get in and play for awhile, I manage to keep my back to them … I don’t want to be rude, I don’t want them to think I don’t like them … I just… I don’t even know what to do!  there are other little kids playing too, so it is easy to be distracted … right up until they call for one of the little boys whose name is luke!  they all head out, I feel relieved … and bad … I wish I had more control over these emotions.  we swim some more and then, about 6, it is time to head home.  I wrestle cole into his pajamas, since he doesn’t especially like to get changed, and kind of flusteredly round up the kids to get home.

load up again, pull up to a garage full of neighbors looking at the pool table, say hi to everyone, unload kids, life jackets, towels, lunch bags, snack wrappers and the library movie that didn’t get returned.  ahhhhh!!

talk to neighbor about some serious hurts over the fence, head off to the library so we don’t get a late fee, come home and park the van for the LAST time today.  the kids are eating cheese pizza with brian, i make some fresh salsa (which is sooo awesome, if I do say so myself) and sit down for the first time to eat with brian and cole.  this is about 7:30 now.  dawson and punkin have gone outside to play monster with the neighborhood kids.

pick up kitchen, get dishwasher started, start blogging, stop blogging, read to punkin, get everyone tucked in, straighten living room, back to blog….  it’s therapeutic.

it is now a little after 10 and I am going to sit with brian and watch tv for awhile. 

praise and blessings to all you moms out there … I know you are just as busy or more so.

lavender …

May 29, 2009

I was at the library with Gabrielle yesterday.  We checked out some nice books, lots of Berenstein Bears, some gardening and entertaining … the usual.  On the way out I glanced at the free papers and magazines and thought I’d take a few of those too.  There was, Minnesota Grown, Essential Wellness, The Christian Chronicle and Lavender.


blog 003

Yep.  That says ‘Gay Getaways’.  Now I did read this when I picked it up, but I honestly thought it just meant ‘happy’.  Like a happy little trip to the North Shore.  And yes, Brian and I might want to take a happy little trip this summer.

Needless to say, after I looked through a few pages, I started to wonder.  When I saw the big advertisement for a PRIDE parade in rainbow letters (why do they have to use the rainbow?? )  : (    I knew they weren’t talking about the same gay trip that I was thinking about.

I guess I won’t be picking up the latest copy of ‘Lavender’ anymore.  It was worth the good laugh that some friends and I had though.

may 09 002

this was my afternoon.  it was so beautiful outside, I sat out on the deck to do my bible study.  the sun shining, the breeze blowing lightly through the remaining lilacs … just me and ‘the word’.  a perfect way to spend an afternoon.

and then, boo (our cat) came to sit on the deck with me.  this caused the blackbirds, who must be building a nest somewhere close by, to through a fit.  all this squawking!  how can I enjoy the afternoon, let alone concentrate, with all this damn noise.

so … I armed myself with dawson’s ‘official Red Rider carbide action 200 shot range model air raffle’  (we watch ‘a christmas story’ around here), a B.B. gun in lay-mans terms.  I was determined to shoot that little bird the next time he swooped down and started squawking at me and my cat.  I’m sure I looked ridiculous sitting there with my bible open and a B.B. gun in my lap.

I didn’t ever actually shoot.  I got busy doing something else, and I didn’t want to end up shooting a neighbor or anything.

would Jesus shoot the bird?  would the bird be squawking while Jesus was trying to read?

drive me crazy!

May 16, 2009


look at those faces!! how can you not love them!?!  they really are good kids.  I mean that.  in general they listen, they have manners, they are kind and respectful … but sometimes …

they drive me crazy!

and then I feel a little bad, a little confused … it is a hard feeling to describe.  I mean, how can I wish they would just find something to do that doesn’t involve me and at the exact same time wish I had 1 more?  am I not crazed enough?  what do I do with these feelings?

  I guess I thrive on stress.  I work best when there is work to be done.  I think the most clearly when there are 3 kids in the back of the van, all trying to talk to me, as I’m driving way to fast, on the way to the emergency room!  punkin ..”am I going to have to have a shot?!!!” … dawson ..”but the sleepover starts at 6:30!!” … and cole squealing with glee because he thinks he’s the one that gets to go to the ER!!  no really.  he is so excited to head to the hospital, I can hardly get him to be quite so that I can try to get Punkin calmed down and reassure Dawson that he’ll get to his sleepover.  where would Luke have been?  in his car seat!  get him in the van.  no big deal.  with the way the night was going he probably would have been crying.  the four of them driving me crazy!  I’d at least like the oppurtunity to have 4 kids backed in the back of the van.  I’m 12 years in … I’ve got a PHD in crazy by now … it is just what I do.